Summer often feels like a whirlwind—travel, activities, social events, and long days packed with busyness. Then August arrives, and suddenly we’re shifting gears: heading back to school, sending kids off to new routines, or simply trying to settle back into ourselves as fall approaches. Fall is a season of warmth and coziness, a natural invitation to pause and reflect—both on our lives outwardly and on our inner world. But with reflection sometimes comes comparison, and social media can amplify that in ways that feel overwhelming.
Social media certainly has its positives: staying connected with friends and loved ones, sharing our joys, and building community. Yet research also points to its downsides—higher levels of depressive symptoms, feelings of isolation, and lowered self-esteem (Andrade et al., 2023). Those of us who naturally lean toward comparing ourselves to others can be especially vulnerable to these effects (Andrade et al., 2023). Since social media is so deeply woven into modern life, the answer for you may not be to quit it altogether but to find healthier ways of using it.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Let’s talk about a few ways to protect your joy this season.
Savoring: Celebrate Your Own Moments
One tool you may find helpful is savoring. Savoring means intentionally focusing on your own meaningful experiences—past, present, or future—to boost positive emotions (Andrade et al., 2023). If you feel down after scrolling through everyone else’s summer adventures, try pausing to recall a moment of joy from your own summer. Maybe it was a big trip, or maybe it was something simple like planting new seeds in your garden. Relive that memory: what did it feel like to be fully engaged in something you loved?
You might even revisit photos, journal about the moment, or call someone you shared it with. As a bonus, you can make savoring a habit—documenting those meaningful experiences, small and large, and revisiting them whenever you need a reminder of the richness in your own life (Andrade et al., 2023).
Valued Living: Aligning with What Matters
Another helpful approach is what therapists sometimes call valued living. This means clarifying your personal values and making choices that align with them, even in small ways. You might start by using a simple values card sort activity to identify what matters most to you – try this one here:
Values Card Sort Activity.
Then, find ways to bring those values into daily life—even if it’s just five minutes at a time. When your actions reflect your values, your sense of fulfillment grows, and the urge to compare yourself to others often fades.
Curating Your Digital Space
Of course, curating your digital space can also make a difference. If certain accounts consistently leave you feeling “less than,” it might be time to unfollow them. Instead, choose content that supports your goals, inspires you, or makes you feel grounded.
And if you notice FOMO about a specific activity—say, hiking, taking a cooking class, or going to a concert—maybe that’s your sign to give it a try yourself!
Comparison Isn’t the Enemy
Finally, remember that comparison itself isn’t inherently bad. It’s a natural human experience. The key is responding with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment or guilt. When you notice yourself comparing, gently ask: What is this feeling telling me? Is there something I truly want more of in my life?
As we move into fall, my hope is that you’ll take these small but meaningful steps toward savoring your life, living out your values, and engaging with social media in ways that support your well-being. And if comparison or other challenges feel heavy, therapy can be a supportive place to work through them—we at the Sanctuary of Wellness are here to help, and if not us, another trusted therapist may be the right fit.
Here’s to entering this cozy season with kindness for yourself, a little less comparison, and maybe a pumpkin spice latte—or, in my case, an iced pumpkin chai.
If you are ready to start today, click here!
Reference
Andrade, F, C., Erwin, S., Burnell, K., Jackson, J., Storch, M., Nicholas, J., & Zucker, N. (2023). Intervening on social comparisons on social media: Electronic daily diary pilot study. JMIR Mental Health, 10:e42024. https://doi.org/10.2196/42024
